The undead Cheney is trying to be relevant and I think he is gathering his minions (very very old vampires) to make an assault on the bastions of American sensibilities. I they may need to get some Fixadent first.
Cheney is out saying Obama is all wronng in not wanting to continue torture. I am thinking prosecuting this old vampire is going to be easy. He has admitted on National TV that he ordered the torture. Yet he is undaunted and is now saying that his minions must not become moderate. I mean if you are going to suck the blood out of tthe economy, then do it with unbound efforts.
Oh well another intro to a econ rant.
Conservative Republicans are outraged with the prospect of a $1.5 trillion deficit this year. Hmmmm did GEE Whiz give Obama this nasty dsituation?
Obama is now including the wars in the Fed Budget. These are the wars that Gee Whiz got us into. Gee Whiz never included the wars into the budget. What Congress got was bi annual emergency funding request for the ongoing wars. I mean the first funding ok, but after that shouldn/t this be part of the budget? Well if the wars were includeded, the deficit assumptions would be huge. Oh what a joy to cook the books. I think they hired a bunch of ENRON guys to run the finances.
The conservatives are still complaining about the STIM and Bank bailouts.
First everyone hates to have us bail out banks when they were the ones that created the mess. The big HOWEVER is reasons for bailing out the Banks. In about 1928 -29 Herbert Hoover was faced with the same issue. The stock market was beyond over valued and there were loans that were bad. So Herbie had the choice....Bail out the banks or suffewr the consequenses. Well ole Herbie did absolutely nothing. What happen was th3e Great Depression.
The banks lost liquidity and closed. The remaining banks were beyond risk adverse and stopped lending and this stopped the flow of money in the economy.
Herbie was kicked out and FDR had to handle the mess. Sound familiar.
So now we are facing the same issue. The Dow was way overvalued and you had banks holding toxic assets that they created. There are hedge funds that were betting on the curve and the assumption was that this would never end. Well it did and banks were facing massive liquidity issues.
Let's just assume that if there was not a bank bailout and continued support, the days of 1929 would be de ja vu' all over again. We are still in a recession, primarily due to the colapse of the housing marked and banks lending grinding to a stop.
What Obama is doing makes monerterists happy. First he is stablizing the banking system. Without this system we are screwed. He then pumped massive money into the system, AKA the STIM. He is trying to fix the broken health system and finally trying to end and fix the Gee Whiz wars. Add to this a sensible look at the tax system and there is hope.
So kids this is my Saturday Econ rant.
- Location:home
- Mood:
complacent
They told me I have to start losing weight like now and when I drop say 30 - 40 lbs, I will ready for the surgery.
On better news I am being interviewed for a position at my agency and it will be a promotion. There 2 positions and I hope I get one of them. The interview is going to be over an hour long. OHHHH GAWWWWDDDDD I have to wear nice guy clothes. This is going to be hard to deal with. I usually wear what is comfy and it is not pure guy clothes. I don't think wearing my fave earings would work either.
Such is life here in the fast lane.
Gun stores are saying people are buying piles of guns and bullets. I have a hypothisis... 21% of Americans identify with the Rebublican Party. Let us assume that the 21% are right wing bible thumping wacked out Christians. So who do you think is stocking up on all those GUNSSSS?????
Your guess may be the same as mine.
Unemployment rate is slowing down, which may mean the recession is going to bottom out some time this year. The good news is most major supplier and manufacturing units are at very low levels. This means with a rebound of the economy there will be a need to replenish inventories and this means JOBS.
I am worried about having oil still in the $40 range. As the world econmy grows there will be a higher demand for oil and this means that oil prices go up. Oil may be the best lever to keep rampant economic growth moderated in the future.
Mimicing Keith Oberman ......... And the WORST PERSONS in the WORLD are ..... Drum Roll
Alan Greenspan
GW Bush
and Phil (let's just can all the regulations) Grahm.
The jury is still out on this new group, I am more hopoeful with obama and his team He has my economic hero on his side...Paul Volker!!!
- Mood:
bitchy
So the trouble starded with creeping numbness in my left foot. The right leg has the worst MS symptoms. The leg that just had surgery would get that feeling where you feel that a band is being tighted on the knee. The right foot feels tingly but dead. Then the pain would romp in to the leg. The knee felt ugly and the rest of the leg felt like it was being punched. Finally I admitted to myself that the letter on CNN were not changing colors on their own.
Oh well there are no bruises on my nice legs.
So Friday was the day I got the nasty wake up call at work. My face was feeling like I was getting novicain all over the lower lip, chin and streaking into new areas. Then my balance was shot and fatigue was overwhelming. This was the trigger point where I go from Stoic to being proactive. I called my neuro and said this was a Solumedral relapse. He wanted to make sure, and finally scheduled me for three days of infusions. They last about an hour and you feel kind of crappy. Solumedrol is industrial strength steroid and has fun side affects.
So today was day one of Hell, Kim is so wonderful and was there with me and has made everythng so nice. I will have insomnia most of the night. Sleep meds are like a squirt gun at a inferno.
By tomarrow night, I may get to the fatigue point, where even the steroids will not keep me awake. Oh well I will get dreams that could become a good sci fi story.
Today is the war within day. My imune system is fighting against the steroids. This means all the raging numbness is pushing very hard against the med. The imune system wants to keep the inflamation going and the steroids is like a well trained fire brigade marching through a fire.
The next week or so will be the tell tail period. Did my crazed out imune system eat away enough to create another layer of numbness or pain?
So this is my Day one of Hell.
please excse spelling mistakes. Letter are not all the same color and I just am too tired to care about spelling
K
- Location:Home
- Mood:
crazy
So I got out the toxic waste site chemicals and went after it. Hmmm I wonder if all the years of using strong cleaning products help with me getting MS. I think working in a paint factory during college didn't help.
So the process was not fun. Now I have 2 count them 2 bad Knees and the fatigue is not fun. Kim is doing the floors and is attempting to dust.
This job is so ugly that I ended up making a serious rum and coke. I think it kind of reduces the MS pain. I am now getting the feeling that someone is punching me in the leg. There is an MS pain med called Nuerontin. This works but I feel I have a raging storm in my tummy. I don't take meds that are worse than the symptom.
I am feeling better, given the 2.5 months of ugly crud. I have a perscription for a great cough med and it should last me a long time. I look at the pile of pills I take every morning and evening and wonder how my body deals with all this stuff. I have a pill to keep me awake, and one for the MS insomnia, one for spasms, the daily injection, 2 for depression, 1 for anxiety, one to help me feel like a woman and one to keep the boy hormones under control. Add the vitiamims and it is a handful.
The injection is not so bad and I think it helps with the MS.
I also feel better about myself. I get an awesome color and cut every 6 weeks and this is one luxury I will not give up. I have wonderful hair products and great products for my face and body.
I know that I look sooooo different than when I started this journey and this gives me a nice feeling.
What is great is that I am finally able to push the abuse and all the garbage further and further away.
I also am with Kim and she is my angel and best of best friends.
- Mood: bitchy
Well we have a great new President and I look forward to him being our leader. I look at the economic situation and pray that Obama can lead America out of this mess.
Do I usually support a stimulus package like the one being proposed, not really. I am a monerterist and that means I am conservative in the realm of economics. What I see now is that we have a recession that is very deep and there are signs that we could even have a moderate depression. The indicators are there and this includes wholesale price decreases as well as retail price cuts. On a sustained basis with a deep recession there are indications of a deep and long lasting recession or a depression.
So this is a logical way of thinking and some people would say this is too male. For me this is my calling in life. The understanding of economic forces and the ability to connect the dots. Does this mean I am procluded from my female side???? No that is toooo sexist. Why can't I have the emotions and feeling that course through me as does the estrogen that I take everyday?
I know that if I was to abandon all the male in me would be wrong, because that is as important as the female in me. I love the feeling of security and contentment. I also love watching a football game or a Mariners baseball game. I love watching people on the beach and taking pictures of a dad with his daughter or a mother giving loving care to a child. I see children playing and marvel at the innocence of their fun.
I then remember my childhood and realize the only times of safety were when my oldest brother and I played basketball until we could it was way too dark. The other times were dark with sexual, psychological and physical abuse. I often think there was about 8 years of hell and wonder why I can see beauty in life. I guess the courage to stay in therapy and finding an angel is my answer.
So is there a publised manual for being male or female.... probably not. Rather for those of us that find our brains say the opposite of the body there is confusion. For me, I have realized that a balance between the male and female is key. I savor the knowledge that I can let the female be the gentle guiding factor. I also know that there is a powerful cognotive side. This is the side that allowed me to survive the hell years. I had to let the scientific and mathmatical abilities to dampen the outrage and self hate. This was good because I know that I could have easily slipped downward.
So for me the ability to feel emotions, play and enjoy being silly is a huge advancement. To have friends is something I crave. The problem is trust. I was told that I could be put in a room of people that had been sexually abused and we would all say the same things. Go figure.
So for me the finding of my female is a luxury. I now can feel good about the skin I live in. I don't hate looking at my reflection. I realize that I don't have to live at extremes where self destruction is not considered. I realize that I was one of the first extreme ski fanatics. I did not care if I did not survive. I used to ski in areas where the snow would move just as fast as I was skiing.
Now I think if I was to ski, I would want to feel the artistic side of me. I would want to just feel the movement and enjoy all of the sensations.
So am I a male, female or a person that has realized that just being me is an accomplishment. I just know that finally finding a balance is really peaceful.
K
- Mood:
contemplative
First there was the knee surgery and the recovery. I was finally feeling that I was on the up swing and walking was not hurting so much.
Well then I got hit with an acute urinary tract infection. I ended up in the ER thinking it was a nasty kidney stone. Well it was almost as bad. I guess the infection was spreading and heading for the kidneys. So they gave me the anti biotic IV and now I am on Cipro. For about 3 days I felt horrid. I felt all the elements of the infection.
I sometimes wonder if I can take any more medical issues. The good news is my MS is not hitting hard and I hope it will just stay on the back burner. I have tried to take this all into perspective however I just wonder why me ..... why do I have to deal with the crazy issues.
Kim hopefully will be here in the first couple weeks of September. The house issue still sucks and hopefully the attorney will get things moving. So I will fly out there right before the big move happens and then drive her care across the USA.
I am so tired and going to bed.
K
I have to be careful and not push it to much in the walking. If I do this I end up getting really fatigued, hot and the pain ramps up, MS does not like surgery and this is evident with the fatich and getting really hot.
Very tired and need to get some sleep.
Rosie (kitty) has been so affectionate and I think she senses I am having pain. When it was really bad, she would climb over me and just flop next to me and want pets. She stays there until I finally went to sleep. She then climbed over me and went to sleep on this fleece jacket that she stole from me. Even then she curled up so she could be be right next to my head. Yes I spoil this cat and she deserves it everyday.
Kim and I figuer that she will move out here mid September with the cats.....this should be very interesting!!!!!
A close friend of Kim's is so distraught. Her dad is dying of cancer and had to be rushed to the hospital due to a blood clot. The doctors are not positive and he has smoke all his life and refuses to quit. I am so glad I quit cold turkey in college.
I need to see a Physical Therapist and get a brace for my right knee. The damage was rather nasty and the brace should help.
oh well need to take my cocktail of MS meds... especially the wonderful sleep med.
K
- Mood:
tired
Surgery on my right knee was Tuesday and it went well... That is I came out of it and I can walk with less and less pain.
Wed. was hell on earth though. My knee was in so much pain that I had to take more Vicotin than usual. I was supposed to keep my knee elevated but at about 2 am I just kicked them off the bed. Keeping my leg elevated was causing too much pain.
So I had the post op meeting today and the news was not exactly good. The surgeon told me that I have arthritus on the knee, and the tear to the miniscus cartilage was severe. So I have to get a brace to help me during my long strengthing process. Yes I get to go and get physical therapy and I am not looking forward to this.
I have to work the PT into the needs of my MS and hopefuly I will start cycling soon.
A very good friend of mine who is stationed in Iraq is sending me one of his road bikes. He was one of the soldiers that rode in the Iraq MS 150 and he is working to set up another ride.
The Vicotin has done ugly things to my smell and taste. Everything I taste or smell is exagerated and it is not nice. Oh well I think I will be off this after tonight. I am walking better and the pain has subsided.
Kim has been having a rought time in WV. The house is falling apart and hopefully the attorney that is representing Kim and the other two people will get a lawsuit in place and she will be able to move here very soon.
Oh well I will be working on getting this apartment cleaned and things put into place.
- Mood: pensive
Well one week from now, I will be married to my sweetie. Kim and I have been friends almost as long as I have had MS, Over this period we both found the courage to help each other out of abusive marriages and deal with the divorces.
Both of us have learned that our friendship has been the glue that has held us together through some ugly times. We have learned to trust and honesty has been something we both value. I think we trust each other so very much. Our love is real. We can now feel something that we have never felt before. We have both chosen that this is what we want. It is a lot better than feeling we NEED to have this or that.
So I have found myself and my love. This is wonderful and this is bringing peace to me heart. I know that finding the female in me has let me find that it is the person that is important. I find Kim to be so beautiful and it is not just her physical beauty, but everything. I don't want her to change rather I want her to just be Kim.
I have so much work to get done here and I have until Thursday night to get things in order.
I have set up to have a wonderful person come in everyday to visit and take care of Rosie (my Kitty). This woman has done documentaries on the animals of Katrina. I trust her very much.
Today and yesterday the temp was ugly. For many the warm weather is heaven, for me, it is just down and out ugly. Before MS, I was ok with warm temps, but now it is not fun. My MS really hates the warmer temps. When it was colder, I would walk to work and just enjoy the cold. I could sleep with the windows open. Rosie was not exactly happy and was happy when I put a blanket over her. Yes I have spoiled her way too much.
I am really tired but that is part of the MS game.
Well another SMYRC Event...10 years and counting!!!
I got an email about 2 weeks ago from Zan at SMYRC wondering if I could cook up lots of fook for the Youth at SMYRC. I just can't say no to the requests. I don't know how many cooking gigs I have done for them, but I sometimes don't think I have done enough for them.
I know that deep in my heart I know that I want each and everyone of them to find happiness and safety. I look at their courage and wish that when I was their age, I could have had a place like SMYRC.
I am really tired today given the volume of cooking. I should get going on the near endless unpacking process. This seems too much for me today. I was able to make coffee in my French Press and found some fresh pineapple in the refridgerator. I know this is like so un-motivated, but I am not too motivated right now.
I am thinking of writing a cook book maybe in coordination with the youth at SMYRC. I have so many recipies and if we do a good job we can sell it to raise money for SMYRC. I could always ask the youth to tell me their fave foods and I could create a version of it and see if it is good enough for the book.
I can do vegan, carnivore and everything in-between.
I think I have mastered the art of making large batches of Humus. I think the next time I do Humus for them, I will do one that is mild and one that has some heat. I think adding a little spice would be match some of the "DRAMA" of the kids.
Oh well I gotta get going .... maybe I should crash and take a nap!!!
I am frustrated because I get some of the stuff boxed and then realize that I need to do even more. Of course I get ugly tired and have to rest. So the frustration get greater and greater. Oh well this means the moving people will get to pack what is left and I will just pay them a little more.
Rosie (Cat) is getting a bit upset with all the packing. She was found on the street and I think she was abandoned when someone was moving and didn't want to take her. I can't understand this because she is the sweetest cat. I think she has become the best companion cat. However when she decides to lick and lick me.... well it tickles.
Rosie will now have a 2 bdrm apartment.... a step up from my very nice studio.
I think I am in an ugly mood because I am writing rebuttal testimony for this rate case from hell. It is challenging when I have to craft good arguments for some of the very good opposing testimony, however I have hate it when the arguments I am trying to rebut are flat out beyond stupid. A couple of them were basically "bitch sessions" .. and none them are female and they would probably puke if they knew I was a bit trans. Whoooo hoooo.
Kim is beyond excited about the wedding and I feel the same. We have done it beyond right. We became the best of best friends, we have been honest with each other and we love every second we spend together.
Well my knee is pfffffttttt nasty. I will have surgery sometime in June, that is I hope. I will not let it affect going to the Portland Waterfront Blues Festival.
Oh well I am going to try to take off most of June. This will put a little dent in my gadzillion Annual leave balance. Right now I have about 23 days of use or lose which is on top of another 30 days of just regular Annual leave. Add 7 days of other leave and well I really should take some time off. My boss is taking off all of September and I figure he will leave and I will get hit with a tidal wave of work. I know I get paid well but there are days where I think I don't.
Oh well I am sleepy and need to get up early so I can deal with the edits and then maybe take off the afternoon to start the actual move.
Did I say I really hate moving?????
K
- Mood: bitchy
- Music:KINK Lights Out
Work is has been ok in that I put my foot down finally. I said that I have been working too much in the area of putting together the numbers and this is a really poor use of my expertise. So I am now the internal consultant in this area and this means that if the analysts have a problem with the analysis, I am the one they go to for an answer. Now management likes the idea, but the analysts have not completely bought into this, that is until they get in over their heads and I need to fix the problem.
I have to add the internal consultant work to the work I am doing on the RATE CASE from HELL. This is the one that I have been working way too hard on for the last 12 months. I figure I have hit about 4 stretches where I worked 30 straight days without a break. No weekends and if there was a Fed Holiday, well I just plowed through them. When all of our work was finished, I had been the primary person that wrote about 50 pages of Testimony, 60 pages of written studies and tables and about 1000 pages of documentation.
Odd I am the kid that has MS and I put out more work than the other people. Of course the MS really let me know that I was not being nice to myself.
So health issues. Well my MS is ok, still have the fatigue, but as I tell people .."I have a med for that" It is one of tension reduction comments. When someone comments that they are really tired... I say ..I have med for that, if they say that they have restless leg syndrome, well I say I have a med for that.... I should have an illicite pharmacy... but I don't think the feds would like that... oooopppps.... I work for the feds.....gulp!!!
So I am working with a doc for knee surgery. I wish I could say ... I had a spectacular skiing crash and burn... but alas it was just me tripping on Kim's front door mat and I ended up tearing cartilage. Now the good thing is that most of the time I don't feel it , because it is in the leg that has lots of numbneess. But then when I do feel it .....Yeooooowwwww!!!!!!!!
Kim and I are getting married in WV and the wedding is late May. I am going to move into a 2 bedroom apartment at the end of April and I wondering how the heck am I going to do this. I mean I need to pack up everything and have it ready for movers. I sent an email to a minister at my church to see if I can get help from some of the members.
Alas, I have to get a suit for the wedding and this is a bit contrary to what I am but I know that Kim's parental units will be happy and I just want some peace and contentment. I joked with Kim about who gets to wear the dress...... we can laugh about this and oh well me being myself with some wierd humor is not bad.
So I am trying to keep things in perspective and I hope I can just keep some perspective.
K
- Mood: bitchy
Well this year is starting off on a good note.
Kim and I are engaged and this is something we have thought about and we realize that it is the right direction. For us we never ever want to see the process of divorce again and realize that we love each other very much.
Well my family (Sisters and one brother) ... well I called on Christmas to the sisters and didn't get anyone. My younger sisters returned my call but not on that day. I haven't talked to my older brother for years and I am not too interested because he and I have never seen eye to eye and the last time I had contact, he tried to get me in trouble at my job. Now he was laughed at but this was not a very brotherly action. This all started with the death of my dad years ago.
I don't know if any of them will want to come to our wedding but then I am not going to worry.
Well the country ham we cooked was good and very salty. Kim said it was better than most country hams. Oh my Gawd I thought it was like a salt lick. Oh well I am going to use small amounts in things like soup and some cajun dishes. I won't need to salt the dish because the ham has more than enough. I think next year we will do a regular sugar cured ham.... a normal one.
So I am happy because I have a wonderful and loving person in my life. We want to live a simple life and don't want any drama in our life.
This is going to be a wonderful year and our life together will be great.
K
- Mood:
calm
Well I finally got the Crisis De Jour done and even added on the second version my manager wanted.
So my sweetie is on the plane and on the way to visit.....DOUBLE YIPPEEEEE
So I am in a good mood and feel a lot better. I have realized that my body feels better and I don't seem to have the ugly MS issues seem to be less when I am working on complex issue. Now when the fatigue hits due to long hours then all bets are off. So I have to pace myself.
My neuro has written a good letter for me to take to HR and this will say no OT unless byond necessary and this is only on an infrequent basis.
Well I have got a really nice replacement for my old Bang & Olufsen receiver that has finally gone bad. I got an ONKYO AV reciever and it is an awesome unit.... Just need to figure out how to get the DVD player to tie into the receiver. It will run through the ONKYO and when my sweetie moves out with her new Panasonic Plasma HD TV things will be great.
So things are getting better. I may get a little Christmas tree for us but then Rosie (Kitty Cat) will have fun with it. I don't know how much my ex left me in the area of Christmas decorations. She vacumned up so much when she left, especially anything that was purchased during the marriage. Hmmmm most if not all of it was using my money.... Go figure.
Christmas will be so nice and I don't care if I finding anything nice.
- Mood: ecstatic
I am again on one of those infamous "Crisis De Jour'" This one is to make senior management comfortable with the changes we made in our models. It is absurd but their ability to accept change is around zero.
So I am going against my docs order and working this weekend and probably the next one and extra hours.
So to make this day even worse is my manager has now finally decided to look at our forecast models and he is finding errors.. or at least that is what he thinks. He is peppering me with emails pointing out the errors knowing full well I am on one of his "Crisis De Jour" . I didn't even build the models but I am getting the emails. So he is now expecting me to deal with two huge issues at the same time and I have MS.
I am sooooo pissed off because I have put in so much work and I have pushed myself to one relapse and here I go again. It is so frustrating because I am the only one in doing the crisis work and I have been on this mode since May. My MS is screaming at me and I wonder if this job is worth it now.
I am worried that I am going to end up in the hospital with mega infusions to beat down a major relapse.
I am going to get mega sleep tonight.
Grrrrrrrrrrr
- Mood: frustrated
Well my MS is better, so the Solumedrol IV treatment seems to be working. Now if I could just shake this cold and I may feel better.
Worked some this morning and got a lot done, however there was an email from one of the top people wanting to have a meeting to discuss the results of the work. It is like he and others can imagine what they want to see and puuffff ... I am supposed to just pull the results out of my hat. I think he is not going to like what he sees. They all wanted me to find a way to fix the results for one of the big utiliy companies. So after figuring out how to adjust the models, I was able to make the fix. Then of course I have to be consistent and made the changes to the other models. Well the results are crazy and I have worked and worked to figure out the issues and what they want is is impossible. So I figure Monday afternoon they will have another CRISIS DE JOUR. j
So I am in an ugly mood. Duckies are playing poorly and yet another crisis at work.
- Mood:
crappy
So I know in my heart that she loves me but for over a month her parents have been there and our communication has been so limited. This has been tough because I know she so much misses me as I miss her. I know she loves them an they love her. She has been working so hard on the condo so she can rent it and this tells me that she is planning to live here. I sometimes wish I could retire and just live there but I haven't been at my job enough.
Oh well I just hope she knows that I love her with all my heart.
K
Worked a couple of hours but it was so nice because I was writing testimony and I felt there was no stress and just was able to get so much done,
Then I had a Kris day. Took Max down to the Saturday Market.. well it is also open on Sunday and got a nice pair of earings that are silver. Also found some really nice candles for the table. One set is lavendar (one of my fave scents) and the other is vanilla.
Then I took Max to get the Trolley so I could go to NW 21st area to do some shopping at one of my fave shops. Got some lucsious ravioli and italian sausage. Got a couple bottle of Italian wines and will have a nice dinner. This nieghborhood store is linked with Pasta works and is so European in nature. I am going o get a couple racks of Lamb for a very special dinner with my sweetie.
Maybe I will coat the rack with dijon mustard and cracked pepper. Then sear it and finish it off in the oven.... medium rare. Then use the dripping etc to make a nice Port pan sause. Serve this with some baby potatoes and brussel spouts in a bacon cream sauce. Add a berry galet and some great wine and this will be so nice for Kim and me.
The ugly relapse is finally going back to bed and I am walking better and feeling a lot better also. The yucky steroids still are in my system and there are times I feel really bitchy but then so what I am Kris and well I get to be bitchy now and then.
Well I hope to have an anti Turkey Thanksgiving dinner!!!! I hope to get a couple filets of Salmon and then make a seafood stuffing. The bread part will be my homemade croutons. I think a savory bachemal sause that binds it all together will be part of the recipie.
Well My Oregon Duckies are ranked #2 in the College polls and if they win the rest of their games, then they should be in the big BCS championship bowl. If this happens I will have to have a special Kris style of a home "tail gate" party. Hmmmmm what should this kid cook for this party....... How about Kris's bad ass Buffolo wings???? Oh I can be so bad.
k
- Mood: calm
- Music:Shawn Colvin
Well today I had the second infusion and I think the relapse is subsiding. I probably will have very little sleep but I am realizing that this was a really serious relapse. I was getting numbness in new areas and my right leg was getting worse. I think that the damage there is deeper and I will be getting an MRI in January to see if there is progression. My right leg feel more and more like dead wieght. I am going to get a new bicycle soon and start the process of losing wieght and getting my self on the process of fighting this disease again.
I know that the side affects of the IVSM will take time to work through but I am glad that this flare is finally ending.
Kris
- Mood: cheerful
I am going to force myself to not work this weekend. I don't care what people tell me is needing to be done. By Saturday or Sunday I will want to sleep most of the day. The last time I had the infusions, I got about 6 hours of sleep over the first 2 days of the three day infusion run. So I will be a walking zombie by then. Usually I am really tired and cranky and if pushed I will be a raging bitch and won't care. So asking me to go out for coffee or whatever is not a good thing for the first week or so. Yesterday I was in too many meetings and my MS was pushing my cognitive side and when someone said something really absurd I was not nice.
Oh well I will just fight and fight this disease
K
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kristencordy- Sexy Witch
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